


New Hope and A Mess

by Wolfyy_75



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: ALL THE GAY, F/F, F/M, Gayness, M/M, Scandal, Tags may be added, cant write tags, im such trash, no smut... yet, other characters will be added, wow Hamiton congratulations
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-08-07
Packaged: 2018-10-16 21:02:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10579425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfyy_75/pseuds/Wolfyy_75
Summary: Alexander Hamitlon has just moved from the Caribbean to the United States, where he thought he could begin a new life for himself. What he didn't expect was for him to ruin it.





	1. Chapter 1: Completely and Utterly Lost

 

Alexander Hamilton sat quietly in his bus seat, the people around him either talking, laughing, or entertaining themselves in some way. While he just fiddled his fingers in his lap. He turned his head to look out the window, watching the trees, roads, and cars flash by. He eyed the clouds in the sky, in an attempt to calm his highly eccentric nerves. New school, he was in a new country, for god's sake! How couldn't he be nervous! The bus eventually came to a stop after what seemed like forever, but was only a matter of 10 minutes. Once Alex realized the bus stopped, his nerves spiked, he had to get off,

 

and enter his new school.

 

Alex quickly grabbed his slightly heavy bag of books and slung it over his shoulder before getting off the bus, nearly tripping once along the way when he stepped on the heel of the person in front of him, who faced him, frustrated. However, the man's face calmed after he saw the ridiculous amount of fear in Alex's eyes.

 

Alex didn't know what to say! This school was massive! He got into this school solely on saved money from over the years, and he was extremely happy about him saving the money in the past, since he didn't have much money in his bank account at the moment... He stood at the school's outside courtyard at the front of the school and checked his watch. 7:23AM it read, he was early for his first class, very early in fact, so early to the point where he was the only studen there. Around 10 minutes later, people began to enter the courtyard, a few giving him quick glances before settling down on a bench or underneath a tree in their respective cliques. At around 7:45, seemingly every student was there. The once quite quiet chatter erupted into a swarm of laughter and words that filled Alex's ears. About five minutes later, the bell rang, and the students began to file into the school, talking along the way, although Alex couldn't hear them over his seemingly extremely loud heartbeat. As soon as everyone entered the school, everyone scattered, heading in separate directions. Alex quickly pulled out his schedule and saw he had English first with Mr. George Washington in room 207. Alex wandered around the halls in an attempt to find his classroom, becoming more panicked when he couldn't seem to find it as time ticked by. In his panic however, he didn't notice a student in front of him, and crashed straight into him, knocking them both to the floor, Alex landing on top of him. His eyes were slammed shut when he fell, and decided to open them once he was still. What lay before him was not what he was expecting. The student below him had gorgeously tanned skin patterned with hundreds of freckles. His brown, curly hair was pulled back into a ponytail. His wide green eyes burned straight into Alex's brown ones. His face had a slight tinge of pink, 'probably from embarrassment,' Alex thought. 'He's cute,' the thought entered his mind before he could stop it, and pushed the thought out of his head quickly. "Oh my god I'm so sorry!" Alex said quite embarrassingly before practically leaping off of the student and quickly tried to grab his things that spilled out of his bag when he fell. "Here let me help you." The student said awkwardly before helping Alex pick up his things. 

Once they had finished Alex said," Hey, uh, mind showing me where my class is? I have no idea where I'm going." Ending with a small chuckle to hide the awkwardness in his voice. 

The boy nodded and said, "Sure, and, uhm.. What's your name? It'll make things a little less awkward in the way there."  
Alex then responded by sticking out his hand for the boy to shake and said,"Alexander Hamilton, but you can just call me Alex. What's your name then?" He said as the student shook his hand quite firmly. 

The student responded with, "John Henry Laurens, are you new here?" 

"Yeah, and I'm guessing you aren't"

John chuckled and said, "how'd you know?"

"You literally just asked to take me to my class." Alex responded, saying the whole sentence with a bit of a chuckle in his throat

A tinge of pink then rose to John's cheeks and he averted his eyes, the bright green irises trying to capture a subject that wasn't Alex's face. He settled on the plant behind Alex.

"Y-yeah I did," John said awkwardly before suddenly clapping his hands together, the sound bouncing off the walls as he exclaimed rather excitedly, "Welp! What class do ya need help getting to Mr. Hamilton!"

Alex laughed a little and said, "Mr, Washington.... English...? I'm pretty sure?" 

"Ah! Well we're both going to the same place then! Come on, we're on the complete wrong side of the school," John said.

Alex didn't know why his face heated up when John grabbed his shoulder to guide him there.


	2. Blushin' and Stutterin'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's a stuttering mess who doesn't know what's going on
> 
> Alex's heart can't stop pounding
> 
> And they're both tired as hell when they reach Mr. Washington's class

John and Alex walked for a while in silence before John suddenly spoke up, saying, "So...where ya from?" Alex's mood dropped a little at the question, as he didn't really like talking about the subject, let alone to a near stranger.

"The Caribbean, Nevis to be more specific.." Alex said, slightly rushing his words and hoped John wouldn't push on the subject. John took a quick glance at Alex and apparently saw his uncomfortableness about the topic and didn't push forward in that conversation and instead asked, "Did you have any particular reason for coming here?"  
Alex then proceeded to tell John about how badly he wanted to come America and start fresh here. He also explained how he hardly had enough money saved to get here, but he was so desperate to get into this school that he worked multiple day jobs to get the money he needed. While he spoke, his hands flew in a flurry of gestures and his eyes and a fire in them that were filled with passion and pride.

"Did your parents help you out at all with this?" John suddenly piped up.

Alex froze and stopped dead in his tracks, his already pale skin had turned nearly snow-white. His once determined look turned stricken and he probably looked like a dead person considering how he wasn't blinking with his eyes wide open. Alex then began to twiddle his fingers and looked at the floor, he found it more interesting than responding to John.

John must've realized he chose the worst question to ask and said quietly, "I'm so sorry.. I didn't know.." He then walked over to Alex and comfortingly placed his hand on Alex's shoulder in an attempt to make Alex feel better. After a few seconds Alex lifted his eyes and looked into John's, his gaze then shifted to John's hand, which lingered on his shoulder. John followed his gaze and quickly removed his hand, his face as red as a tomato. 

"I-I-I'm SO SO SO SO-SORRY A-ALEX!" John quickly said, fumbling over his words, which made Alex laugh. 

"You're okay, you're good!" Alex said coolly, however, his heart was pumping extremely fast, so fast to the point where he felt like he was going to explode right at that moment. John kept going on and on about how sorry he was that he grabbed Alex's shoulder, stuttering every second of the way, blushing like a mad man, he grabbed his _shoulder._ It wasn't like it was his hand or anything. Why was John making such a big deal out of it? Alex's heart wouldn't stop going over 100mph for the next 5 minutes no matter how hard he tried. He just dealt with it, he could feel his face heat as John was panicking, 'he's so adorable,' he thought before he could stop himself.  
Alex took one glance at the time and snatched John's wrist and said, "Show me where my class is! We're really really late!" John nodded wide-eyed and grabbed Alex's wrist and took off down the hall, Alex running in his wake, running in time with John's feet to prevent him from tripping. They took a sharp turn in one hall, busted through a set of doors, ran down another hall, more turning, this jumble of actions continued for quite a bit before John suddenly stopped. Alex slammed into John's back with an "Umph!" escaping his mouth. The two teens took a moment to catch their breath from running for so long. Alex heaving huge breaths of air with his hands on his knees while John was leaning against the wall next to the door huffing large amounts of air. After the ire breathing returned to normal John opened the door. Mr. Washington was apparently in the middle of a lecture of some kind when they walked in because everyone was silent except for his voice, that is, until people began to look at the pair of teens standing in the doorway.  
Alex didn't like everyone staring at him, he felt uncomfortable and began to shift his weight between his feet, his hands were in his pockets and he intertwined his fingers with the fabric of his pants. Mr. Washington cleared his throat and Alex's head popped up, he didn't realize he was staring at the floor until the professor apparently noticed. 

"It seems as though we have some late-arrivals, one of them being our new student!" Mr. Washington said. Alex could feel everyone in the class's eyes on him, and it made his heart beat faster.  
Alex gave a small wave to the room, his brown eyes scanning the room, and he found some curious faces in the crowd, basically asking him to introduce himself. Alex then cleared his throat and said, "H-hello, my name is Alexander Hamilton and I'm not from here, a-actually I'm not even from this country but uh, I-I'm happy to meet you all," Alex said, fumbling over his words a bit as he spoke.

"Welcome to King's High School Alex, now please take your seat next to... Mr. Jefferson over there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHT WOO, 2 CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY
> 
> Sorry for the both of them being relatively short... I need a plot-line... And I'm lazy
> 
>  Also, sincere apologies for any misspelling issues or capitalization problems, I write quickly and tend not to proofread... Sorry if that ticks many of you off.
> 
> Anyway, I have a question for all of you readers, I'd like you to guess my age based off of my writing, I saw another author do this and I'm just curious on how old you guys think I am.
> 
> Happy Days!
> 
> \- Ruby (aka THE AUTHOR OF THE STORY)


	3. A Rivalry and a 'Secret' Language

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Okay so this chapter MIGHT (probably) suck) apologies about that XD, the Lams train will be picking up soon, don't fret!
> 
>  
> 
> Jefferson and Alex don't exactly get off on a good start
> 
> Alex has his eyes on someone
> 
> Aaron just awkwardly introduces himself
> 
> And Alex and Laf have their own 'secret' language

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRANSLATIONS:
> 
> Mon ami: my friend  
> Je m'appelle: my name is..  
> Et quel est ton nom?: and what's your name?  
> Tu parle français? Moi aussi!: You speak French? I do too!  
> Je suis en provenance de France, je suis allé ici l'année de première année, je n'ai pas pu parler en français avec quelqu'un, donc cela me rend vraiment excité.: I'm actually from France, I came here in freshman year, I couldn't speak French with anyone for a while so this makes me really excited
> 
> ***I AM RELYING ON YOU FRENCH SPEAKERS OUT THERE TO CORRECT ME, GOOGLE TRANSLATE ISNT ALWAYS RIGHT***
> 
> Happy Days! (Okay enjoy this Lams trash -v-)

Alex followed Mr. Washington's instructions and took a seat next to who he assumed was this 'Jefferson' character, as the only empty seat in the class was next to him. Jefferson had dark skin, matched with dark brown hair. And he looked... _very tall,_ his legs were lanky, and as Jefferson looked at him, Alex noticed his build was seemingly much taller than the boy who sat in front of him, who, at that moment, was sniffling. He had quite 'big' hair as Alex would put it, and he wore quite the obnoxious clothes, as he wore a bright magenta shirt and long black pants. Alex waved a simple hello to Jefferson who calmly waved back and then sat down. Just sitting next to Jefferson sent a weird feeling down Alex's spine, something felt... off... about this guy.  
Alex paid more than enough attention to the words Mr. Washington was saying, especially after he began talking about the syllabus and some main assignments he wanted to make note of that would be taking place later in the year, Alex would get started a long while in advance though, but that was nothing new. Mr. Washington then began his lecture, and influenced everyone to take notes. Alex pulled out a few pencils, just in case one of them broke.   
Jefferson tapped Alex on the shoulder and asked, "Hey, can I borrow a pencil?" Alex responded with a short nod and handed Jefferson one of his pencils. He then realized he didn't even know Jefferson's first name. Before Jefferson turned to his noted Alex asked, "Hey, Jefferson, what's your _actual_ name?" Alex accidentally made the sentence sound rude by adding a sarcastic tone, and before he could take it back, Jefferson gave him a look of confusion for a moment before his face morphed into a forced expression of kindness and responding with, "Thomas, Thomas Jefferson." The look he gave Alex before he responded made Alex's heart pick up its speed.  
After about another 50 minutes, class ended. Once the bell rang, Alex made an attempt to grab his bag after standing up, but ending up nearly face planting into the floor after he tripped over Jefferson's foot on accident... Or Jefferson tripped him on purpose, he didn't know. He glanced around the room for John, he was practically his security blanket until he found some more friends. Instead, his eyes settled on a female student, she had dark brown hair and pale (ish) skin, and she wore a baby blue shirt with white jeans. 'She's pretty,' He thought.

"So... You like Schuyler huh?"

The voice made Alex jump a little and he flipped around to face the unknown student. His dark face had a highly serious feel plastered across it, as though he was always thinking. Alex didn't say a word, and the student stuck out his hand for Alex to shake and said, "Aaron Burr, and you are?"

Alex took Aaron's hand as they exited the classroom and shook it, "Alexander Hamilton, new her-"

"ALEX!" The voice cut through the air and hit Alex's ear drums, and he immediately scanned the hall for the voice's source, his heart beat picking up. His frantic eyes scanned his surroundings quickly, trying to hunt down John's face in the crowd. Aaron apparently noticed his slight panic and asked, "Hey, are you alright?" He gave Alex a concerned look, but Alex simply nodded and distantly said, "yeah.. I-I'm fine."

Alex could see John running towards him from the corner of his eye and turned to face him just as John crashed into Alex, pushing him backwards, but not knocking him over.

"Auugh... JOHN!!" Alex groaned humorously with a smile plastered on his face when the two collided. Alex's remark made John laugh a little under his breath before saying, "I'd like to introduce ya to the gang!"  
Two students then burst out of the crowd behind John, panting and sweating.

"Ah! Mon ami! Could you not sprint off like that in the middle of a conversation?" The very tall, lighter skinned one said with an evident French accent.

"Yeah like John.. seriously, you really need to stop doing that man." The slightly shorter, but still tall, darker skinned one said, Alex quickly noticed he had a bandana tied around his head. 

The pair then acknowledged that Alex was there and the tallest one quickly made the first move by saying, "Ah! Sorry Aaron and- OH! I'm so sorry.. Ehm.. Bonjour! Je m'appelle Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du motier de Lafayette, but.. You can just call me Laf or Lafayette for short.. It makes for less of a mouthful." Lafayette said, adding a small chuckle at the end. "And this is Hercules Mulligan, but just call him Herc," Laf added, gesturing towards the student to his left, who waved a hello to Alex. "Et quel est ton nom?" He said, looking Alex straight in the eye.  
Alex's eyes brightened up at the student speaking such fluent French, and responded with, "Ah! Je m'appelle Alex. Tu parle français? Moi aussi!" Laf's eyes widened and a huge grin spread across his face, spreading from ear to ear. Alex thought he would start bouncing off the walls due to his apparent excitement. "Je suis en provenance de France, je suis allé ici l'année de première année, je n'ai pas pu parler en français avec quelqu'un, donc cela me rend vraiment excité."  
John and Herc just looked at Alex in complete awe, John especially, since Alex hadn't told him he was bilingual.   
"I didn't know you could speak French Alex!" John said with an absolutely dumbfounded look on his face which made Alex smile.  
The 4 of them began walking, leaving Aaron to his own affairs, and Alex said before turning into the class right next to Mr. Washington's for Geography, "There's a lot of things you don't know about me."


	4. Chapter 4: A Sudden Invitation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex hates geography
> 
> Laf becomes the wingman
> 
> And Alex is too excited for his own good

To Alex, geography was an absolutely horrendous subject, and the teacher, Mr. Lewis, didn't change his opinion one bit. The man was boring and practically making them fall asleep with a potion. About halfway through the class, Alex received a text from an unknown number.

 

??: Hey Alex!

A: Um... Who is this?? :T

??: The guy who JUST FOUND OUT YOU COULD SPEAK FRENCH AND I CAN'T

A: ...John..?

??: Bingo! 

Alex then put John's contact info into his phone, smiling, proceeding to name his contact "John," and including a flustered emoji next to it as a sort of inside joke. He then texted back;

A: Hey, how did you even get my number? Seriously this is something I need to know

J: I have my sources Alex ;)

A: ...

J: ...

A: I'm guessing you just looked at my contact info online on our school website :L

J: ...

A: Joooohnnnnnn ;)

J: OKAY FINE, IM NOT THAT SECRETIVE AND NO I DON'T HAVE SPIES ON THE INSIDE, THOUGH ID GET HERC TO DO THAT BC LAF CAN'T TELL LIES WITHOUT SPILLING THE WHOLE TRUCK OF BEANS

A: ... You forgot so many apostrophes John... 

J: Oh and are you the grammar police "officer Hamitlon?"

 

Alex and John kept texting back and forth for the entirety of class, and before Alex knew it, class had ended. He then quickly grabbed his bag strap and slung it over his shoulder, nearly tripping over his own feet in the process from the bag's heavy weight. He exited the classroom and immediately scanned the crowd for John, Herc, Laf, or even Aaron. His eyes then settled on John, who was talking to Laf and Herc by supposedly his locker.  
As Alex approached, the first few words he heard were incomprehensible, but he _did _catch the words "movie," and "John's," along with a few bits of French as he approached the trio. As Alex drew closer, Laf's gaze shifted and settled on his eyes before breaking into a huge smile. He then walked up to Alex, slung his arm around his shoulders, and began to speak like a seller on QVC,__

__"Alexander, mom ami! Would you like to come over to John's tonight for a movie night? We *cough* mainly John *coughcough* were wondering if you could come!" Alex felt a surge of welcome and happiness fill him as Laf's words sunk in. He felt as happy as he could be and quickly responded with a, "Yeah! Of course!!" and he began to practically leap with excitement. He never had a group of friends before, he wanted to prove himself to them. He then asked for Laf and Herc's numbers and put them into his phone, Laf's sporting a French Flag and Herc's the emoji with sunglasses._ _

__The rest of the school day went by in a blur of excitement and wonder in Alex's mind. His fingers hurt from writing so many notes in his classes, his heart was pumping quickly, from nervousness or excitement he didn't know. His hairline was sweaty from the late summer heat, and strands of hair began to fall out of his ponytail. Though he probably looked like a wreck, he couldn't feel any better, he was going to hang out with his new friends! _Friends! _He was whistling on his way out of school, a bit of pep in his step as he walked, and a giddy grin reached from ear to ear. He waited at the nearest bus stop for the bus and got on, sitting in the front row so he could be one of the first to get off. He stared out the window for awhile, waiting for the bus to stop near his apartment complex. The bus eventually stopped after around 15 minutes of unstoppable grinning and looking for GIFs online. Alex hopped off the bus, nearly leaving his bag in his seat from his excited daze.__  
He entered the complex and climbed up the stairs to his small apartment to get ready. He had to be at John's in about three hours for the movie, and there was absolutely no way he was going to be late. He then texted John and asked for his address so he could find his house. Once he got his address, he realized John lived walking distance away, so he just decided he would walk there rather than spending money on a bus ride. He then quickly undid his ponytail and took a quick shower to just clean up. He then dried and brushed his hair before putting it back up into a tight ponytail.  
Alex simply chose a pair of jeans, a light grey hoodie, and some Nike shoes to wear to John's, and as he was getting dressed, his phone began to ring. Alex picked up the phone after he slid his shirt over his head and said, "Hello?" 

____"Hey!" John's voice answered back._ _ _ _

____"Whatcha need John?" Alex replied cheerfully, though his heart was pounding at the sound of John's voice on the other end of the line._ _ _ _

____"Okay so, you don't have to do this if you don't want to or you have other things to do right now, but I was wondering if you could come over here earlier? Like to set up snacks and pick a movie and whatever?" John replied, kind of rushing the final bits of the request._ _ _ _

____"Sure John! You don't know me well yet but one thing you should know about me; I literally have no social life, until now that is," Alex said, adding the remark at the end in hopes of a laugh._ _ _ _

____Alex's mood spiked at John's laughter on the receiving end of the phone._ _ _ _

____"Alright great! You already have my address so get here when you can!"_ _ _ _

____"Great! I'm on my way, already ready to go!" Alex said before he hung up and practically pranced out of his apartment._ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO THE SCHEDULE HAS BEEN FIGURED OUT MY BEANS! (Yes you are all beans -v-)
> 
> Okay! So this story will be updated every Friday and Sunday, as I don't get much free-time during the week. WOO... SCHOOOooooollll sucks..... Ugh
> 
> Anyway! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, apologies on the last one being so horrible just... Agh... I want to burn it..


	5. Chapter 5: Movie Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Alex cook some food and mess up a lot in the process
> 
> Laf likes Disney movies
> 
> John likes horror movies
> 
> And Alex decides to get some shut-eye

After reading the text from John containing his address about 100 times to practically engrave it in his mind, he showed up at John's doorstep. The house wasn't small, but it wasn't big either, but it was absolutely incredible to Alex, and he hadn't even seen the inside yet! He cautiously knocked on the door and waited for about 2 seconds on the doorstep until a person opened the door, who turned out to be John, a large smile plastered on his face.

"Alex!! Thanks for coming so early, sorry to call ya here so suddenly but I needed some help." John exclaimed rather excitedly.

"Oh, no it's not a big deal, happy to help!" Alex replied.

John smiled warmly and guided Alex through his house towards the kitchen, where John had already laid out particular ingredients for making dips and whatnot. John walked behind the counter and grabbed an apron from a cabinet, tying it around his waist and throwing another one at Alex while practically yelling, "Heads up!"

They then got to work, Alex mixing ingredients and spices to create dips for pita chips and Tostitos. Meanwhile, John was making some form of cookies, Alex didn't know why, but he didn't judge, maybe John ate cookies on a movie night. He also began to microwave buttered popcorn, _tons_ of it. The amount of popcorn he made filled 5 large bowls, nothing more, nothing less. They finished up making the snacks after around an hour and a half, which consisted of the smoke alarms going off 7 times, Alex nearly dropping a bowl of salsa, and John nearly slipping over a small puddle of sauce on the tiled floor... Twice, he forgot to clean it up the first time as he burned one batch of popcorn and was rushing to get it out of the microwave before the house burned down.

After finishing their work, they settled down on John's couch, waiting for the others to arrive. As the next hour went by, they were talking and acting like they'd known each other for years. Talking about the most random things alive, which sent them into laughter every two minutes. During one of these fits of laughter, Alex heard multiple knocks on the door and decided to get up and get it despite John's slight complaints of him getting up rather than the owner of the house. Still laughing, Alex opened the door to reveal Laf and Herc outside, carrying blankets.

"Ah, Alex! Mon ami! Surprised to see you here so early, it's hardly 6:00! Glad you could make it!" Laf exclaimed.

"Yeah sure, happy to be here," Alex replied, finally stopping his slight laughter.

"John didn't get you drunk or high or something before we got here right? You're laughin' like a maniac Alex," Herc said humorously

"Well I mean, I had soda, he may have slipped something in it," Alex replied sarcastically with a wink.

John then showed up at the door, beaming. "Hey you guys, come on in!" and yanked Laf and Herc inside the house. They walked into the living room and Laf immediately turned and looked at the array of food on the island in the middle of the kitchen that was visible from the living room's entryway

"Okay, so there's no way John made all that by himself." 

"He didn't," Alex replied, "he had a _little_ help from someone," he said, gesturing to himself. 

" _A little?_ , there's like enough food to feed a family of 8 sitting on that table! This must've taken at least 2 hours!" Herc said in awe.

"Actually, 1 and 1/2 hours to be precise," John cut in, "anyway, let's watch some movies shall we?" 

John flicked off the lights in the living room and opened up Netflix on the living room TV. Laf and Herc had gone to grab their blankets that they left by the door and walked back into the living room a few moments later, throwing blankets every which way as they entered, a couple hitting Alex in the face. As everyone was debating over movies, Laf wanting a Disney movie, John wanting horror, and Herc and Alex being neutral, everyone positioned themselves on the couch and floor. Alex was nestled on one end of the couch, holding a pillow to his chest with a maroon blanket draped over him. Laf was on the other end of the couch, in a similar position, just without the pillow and a different colored blanket. John was laying on the floor right below Alex, occasionally tugging on his blanket. Though he had his own, John just wanted to steal the nearest blanket for himself. Herc was sitting half under the coffee table in front of the couch, his back against the couch and his legs and feet stretching under the table, he ended up taking 2 blankets for himself, despite Laf's protests, John and Alex just found it funny.

They ended up choosing a horror film, since John made the food (with Alex), and began watching. Alex had forgotten how freaked out he got by horror movies, and about halfway through, he was gripping his blanket for dear life, with his head half-buried underneath it. He had accidentally yelped once or twice, which provoked John to look at him with a look that read, "Oh my god, that squeak though," which made Alex smile and prevent him from digging a hole in the floor and hiding there for eternity. Alex had eventually turned over during one segment of the movie and ended up drifting off into the realm of unconsciousness, he didn't even understand how he did, since he usually is more than awake during horror films. The only way he knew he fell asleep was when he was shaken awake by Laf at the end of the movie. Alex opened his eyes and almost immediately closed them. The sudden light hurt his eyes and he let out a small groan.

"Ah! Guys! Alex's awake!" Laf said loudly.

Alex then could hear the muffled sound of a pair of socked footprints walking towards him. John then poked his head over the back of the couch, his hands draping over the cushions. Alex sat up, fixing his hair as he did so, and stretched. 

"How long was I asleep for? Seriously you could've woken me up." 

"Like... 2 hours,..? Maybe?" John replied, looking at his digital watch for clarification on his assumption.

"Like I said, you could've woken me up!" 

"Well... We were mon ami, but John was like, 'noooo don't wake him, he looks cute in his sleep'," Laf said, ending the sentence with dramatic kissy sounds. 

Though both Herc and Laf's laughter echoed through the living room, John's face went beet red and said, "I-I said nothing of the sort!" 

"Suuuure John~" Laf said, still laughing. 

John's gaze drifted to Alex and settled on his tires eyes, hoping for some sympathy from the smaller man. Alex just shrugged and laid back down in an attempt to hide the slight blush creeping up his cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. I promised I'd get this out by yesterday...? But it's 11:30 on Tuesday... Soooo.... 
> 
>  
> 
> DON'T KILL ME
> 
> \- ALSO, I'm in desperate need of another major plot point that involves Eliza, Angelica, and John, seriously I need some ideas for these next few chapters, I need a form of transition between this and the climax of this story, (which you won't know ;))
> 
> HAPPY DAYYYSSSSS
> 
> Ruby


	6. Working Non-Stop... Except on Fridays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Midterm exams are coming up...
> 
> Alex is stressed,
> 
> and everyone else is living life just fine.

The next few months flew by for Alex. He finished his work extremely early and got practically a free week every once and a while, that is, if he had that week's work entirely finished. Before he knew it, December rolled around, which meant Christmas, which meant a two week break, which also meant midterms, which meant studying until he passed out on his desk in his room at 4AM. Though it was Friday December 2nd, a total of 15 days until exams, Alex's nose was in his chemistry textbook, engraving the information into his brain like a chisel into stone. He invited the gang over to his apartment that night to do whatever the hell they wanted with no restrictions, excluding his neighbors that is. The four of them met up at one of each other's living spaces every Friday, and every single time they had nothing planned, but it always went well. Sometimes Aaron would show up, for reasons unknown. He'd end up showing up when they were all either hammered or passed out from the previous week of school's workload.

Everyone in his group acted differently when they were drunk. Laf's accent thickened by around 150%, making some words incomprehensible, it also didn't help that he slurred his words every time he spoke. He was also loud and wild, standing on tables and... Sometimes singing... horribly. Herc was also loud, but more... vulgar, which was a complete reversal to Herc's normal motherly behavior. That basically sums up Herc when he's in such an intoxicated state. John, on the other hand, was... Interesting. He tended to invade people's personal space, being more physical, pushing, shoving, stuff like that. He also shouted random phrases at the oddest of times, to Alex, it was hilarious to see what his foggy mind could come up with. From what his friends told him, Alex was a _major_ talker. They told him how he'd never shut up. He knew he was loud when he was drunk, he just _knew_. He would also, rarely, but it happened, get into people's personal space, getting awfully close, and, as Laf described based off of experience, "So close to where his breath gets in your eyes, it's f*cking disgusting."  
Since Alex was in no position financially to purchase wine, or any alcohol, on a Friday night, Laf had been chosen to purchase it for him, one because he's rich, and two because he was the only one who offered.  
Alex, still with his nose in a book, settled on his couch to wait for his friends to arrive. He wasn't required to buy anything, since the person who owned the place everyone was going to was required to buy alcoholic beverages, which was something Alex couldn't afford, and that task was handed off to Laf in the blink of an eye. After around an hour of reading, note-taking, highlighting, and more note-taking, Alex received a call. He picked up the phone, scanned the contact's name, and pressed 'Answer' almost immediately.

"Hey Alex!" John's voice exclaimed through the receiver. Alex could hear laughing behind him, and he assumed that Herc and Laf were with him. Along with voices, he heard the clicking of a turning signal, implying that they were in a car, most likely John's. He wondered why they were driving, considering how close John's house was. 

"Heya John," Alex said, bookmarking his page and closing the book with a loud _'thud'_ , "where are you guys?"

"We're about.. maybe a block away? We had to drop by Laf's to get the bottles, making us late." John said. Alex could hear muffled half-apologies in French thrown John's way, along with a few curses. He could also hear Herc saying stuff like, "God I need a drink, this week's been a mess," and so on.

"You guys are fine, don't worry about it, just get up here before I start the movie without you all." Alex replied, smiling.

"Alright, alright! We're coming, I can _see_ your apartment, and if you start that movie I swear to god I will chuck one of these bottles through your window, ya hear?" John exclaimed

"You guys can come up here, break my door down if I don't answer after you ring the doorbell 5 times, you know the drill." Alex said before hanging up.

Alex then went into his room and put his chemistry book back onto his paper-littered desk. He turned off his desk lamp that he had left on the night before and walked back into his living room and sat in the same spot on the couch. He was there for about 5 minutes when he heard the familiar ring of his doorbell.

"Key's under the mat! Come on in!" Alex half-yelled, aiming his yells toward the door. Not more than 20 seconds later did he hear the door swing open, nearly hitting the wall before Herc stopped it with his one free hand. Laf and John followed him inside, Laf holding 2 bags, one obviously containing the bottles from how Laf's arm was positioned due to its weight, and the other most likely holding chips and dip. John held yet another bag, which probably held popcorn, since that was what he was required to bring. Herc held a pizza box in his left hand, cheese pizza, since they couldn't agree on a pizza that _wasn't_ cheese.

"So... LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED Y'ALL!" John yelled from the entryway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY DONT KILL ME!!
> 
> I KNOW it's short and I'm so so so sorry! I wanted to get something out for you guys by today, and a little is better than nothing so.. Hope this works..?? (Prays to god I won't die tonight.) 
> 
> I was extremely busy over Spring break, I was traveling a lot, going to places with zero internet connection and therefore was unable to upload. The constant traveling also made it hard to write and think of ideas.
> 
> -also, don't take this series too seriously, this is more of a practice prompt type thing that I'm doing, I will, however, write a much lengthier Lams story later on after I finish this one, sooo.... Bye
> 
>  
> 
> HAPPY DAYYYYSSS
> 
> Ruby


	7. Chapter 7: A Drunken Night... Well.. 3/4 of it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex slowly watches his friends drop
> 
> Aaron has been woken from his beauty sleep
> 
> And they both suffer in the exact same way.

For the next two and a half hours, everyone was either sitting or laying on the couch in some formation, leaving little room for movement. No one seemed to mind though, since nobody moved or complained. From left to right; Laf was sitting, leaning against the arm of the slightly old sofa with his legs crossed, his feet resting on the black coffee table in front of it. Alex was slightly on top of Laf, but still next to him, since he was laying atop the people to his right, his head resting in Laf's lap. He wasn't touching the couch whatsoever, except for his feet at the end, which lay flat against the opposite arm of it. John was half laying down and half sitting. He laid awkwardly sideways, the lower half of his body remaining in a sitting position, but his upper half was leaning to the left, nearly laying on top of Alex's chest or shoulder. His head was resting on a pillow which lay right next to Alex's face. Herc was also sitting, but with his legs tucked under the coffee table and his arms spread over the back of the couch. Slight movements would ruin this formation that the four had created after moving about and complaining for around 15 minutes.  
Once the movie was over however did things go south. Laf went and grabbed the bag of wine and carefully took out the bottles as though he was taking fine china out of a bag of bombs. He set each bottle in the coffee table and opened the one of his choosing and poured a glass. He then plopped back down onto the couch before quickly getting up after saying, "Oh wait hold up." and headed back towards the plastic bag to retrieve something.

"Whatcha got Laf?" John said from across the room, his head turned towards Laf with a perplexed expression.

Laf just responded by tossing a beer towards him. John quickly flung his hands out and gripped the beer before it hit the rug or the couch.

Herc then exclaimed, "OH! Give me one!" before he practically sprinted towards Laf for said drink.

Alex just laughed at the two, he didn't want to drink tonight, he had to study tomorrow and didn't want to deal with a skull shattering hangover while he gave himself _another_ headache.

The others, however, didn't seem to care about the midterms as much as he did, and drank away the week's troubles. About an hour later, John was sprawled on the couch, one leg draped over Alex's lap. His face was a light pink, implying he was more on the drunk side. Herc was sitting on the floor, holding a beer in his hand as he told a random story in half English, and in half drunken gibberish. Laf had ended up passing out on the rug in front of the coffee table. Laf got drunk faster than anyone and, in turn, fell into unconsciousness first out of the four. 

Alex had treated himself to a bit of a drink as the night progressed, wanting to keep his mind clear, he restrained himself.

Alex had dozed off at one point, he was exhausted from that week, what with schoolwork and studying until 3am every night and practically fueled by caffeine. He groggily awoke to find the nighttime sky peeking through his window, a chorus of crickets chirped outside, accompanied by a few cicadas. Alex sat up on the couch and felt a weight on his lap. He glanced down and saw the freckled face of John Laurens staring back at him. He carefully moved John's head so he could get off the couch. Alex padded in socked feet, after picking up the bottles, to the kitchen. He opened a cabinet above the stove and placed the bottles inside carefully, trying not to clink them together so as to not wake anyone up. Alex was exhausted, his mind was foggy, and he tried hard to concentrate. He had to drive everyone back home, and then walk back. He knew he'd fail at picking or even waking up Laf or Herc, he needed help. He picked up his nearly dead cellphone and called the first number in his contact list;

 

Aaron Burr.

 

The phone rang twice before a groggy Aaron answered, "...Mmmhello?"

"Aaron? It's Alex, I need your help."

"Alex it's midnight, what the hell do you need my help with and why do you need it?" Aaron replied irritably.

"Listen, John, Laf, and Herc are over at my place and... they passed out after a 'couple' drinks... I need your help getting them out of here, please Aaron? I don't want to deal with a hungover Laf tomorrow morning."

"Fine, fine.." Alex could hear the shifting of blankets as Aaron spoke, "I'm on my way.. you owe me one."

"Can't thank you enough Aaron, get over here, and quickly, I need sleep."

"I do too and _who_ ruined that?"

"..Sorry...?" 

 

It only took Aaron about 10 minutes to arrive at Alex's apartment. Alex quietly escorted him to the living room where the trio were passed out on the furniture and floor. Alex could easily hear Aaron's disappointed sigh before he shuffled into the room and gesture to Laf.

The pair were enough to be able to lift a heavy-sleeping Lafayette off the floor. They carefully carried him to John's car and set him inside the back seat before they shuffled back to the room to pick up Herc. He took a bit longer to get down, since they nearly dropped him halfway down the stairs during their descent. The two tiredly walked up the stairs for the last time. They both carried John down the stairs, his face nuzzled into Alex's chest as they walked. After placing him carefully in the front seat Alex glanced at Aaron and flashed him a guilty smile before saying, "thanks for your help, really appreciate it," and in return Alex only received a disgruntled sigh and a 'your welcome,' before Aaron stalked away to his car and promptly drove off without a second glance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...
> 
> ....
> 
> .....
> 
> SORRY!!... Again...
> 
> I planned to update this sooner and I'm going to have another chapter out by this Sunday, the schedule is being changed for the 3rd time, I'll only be posting on Sundays from now on!
> 
> The plot will be picking up soon, so enjoy the fluff while you can -v-
> 
> Happy... Days? Nights? Evenings? Midnights?... WEEK!
> 
> Ruby~


	8. Chapter 8: An Hour Past Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> NO SUMMARY I NEED TO SAY THINGSSSS
> 
>  
> 
> Okay so I missed 2-3 weeks of updates and I'm SO SORRY! I had finals this past week and was studying for the 3 weeks preceding them. I'm also currently sick so the last bit of this chapter may seem... Ehh.. compared to the rest of the story since I currently have a 100 degree fever but forced myself to finish writing this, ENJOY ANNYWAY

Alex hopped into the front seat of John's car, turned the ignition, and drove off, using his phone to guide him to the students' addresses, thankful he saved everyone's in his phone. The streets were empty as he approached Herc's house. He got out of the running car and opened the door to the backseat, where he found a sleeping Herc. 

He roughly tapped Herc's shoulder, saying, "Hey, Herc, get up!"

"Mmmmnn... What...?" Was all he got in return.

Herc eventually sat up after lots of coaxing from Alex's part, with a bit of fruitless pushing. Once he had led Herc back into his apartment and made sure he was alright, he settled back into the car and drove off once more, stopping at Lafayette's hou- mansion.. It was definitely a mansion in Alex's eyes. Laf took even _more_ coaxing, along with Alex half-pulling the drunken student out of the backseat of the car and guiding him into his "house." John had ended up waking up when Alex slammed the car door shut when he returned after waiting for Laf to settle down. Alex heard a bit of shuffling from the passenger seat. He turned his head while turning on the ignition to find an extremely drowsy John slumped in the seat next to him, basically only being held up by the seatbelt. 

"...Aleeex?" John said tiredly.

"Yeah John?" Alex replied, his voice somewhat a mumble due to his exhaustion. 

John then turned his head toward Alex and gave him a drunken smile before saying, "You're pretty cuuute, ya know that..." 

Alex tensed a bit before forcibly relaxing and flashing him a grin, "The alcohol's really getting to you man," he replied, smirking. His heart was pounding rapidly and didn't stop. John simply mumbled incoherent words as a reply.

After around 10 minutes of silently driving, Alex arrived at John's house. He turned off the car and got out. He walked to the other side of the car, checking the time, the white numbers 1:02am flashed brightly on his phone screen. Alex opened the door and unbuckled John's seat carefully, so not to wake the now sleeping John. Alex then carefully slid his hands underneath John's head and back and, with a bit of effort, lifted him out of the car. He then carried the man to his door, nearly dropping him on the patio steps.

" _Shit!_ " Alex exclaimed as his foot nearly slipped off the wooden step. Alex's voice, along with the sudden jerk of movement, startled John awake, his eyes snapping open as his hands gripped Alex's shirt for dear life. "Sorry dude," Alex said, slightly chuckling, "I'm pretty tired."

"It's alright," John quickly replied, still tightly gripping Alex's shirt, his heart pounding quickly. Alex then managed to unlock John's door with a key he found under a potted plant on a small table. He then pushed John's door open with his foot after turning the knob. He set John down on the couch in his living room, laying him down gently across the cushions. John seemed extremely tired, his eyes appearing distant and dazed from his intoxicated state. Alex sat down on the end of the couch where John's head lay on a small pillow. John tiredly smiled at Alex, his eyes briefly focusing on Alex's face before he turned over on his stomach, pushing himself into Alex's lap. Alex's heart rate picked up as John's head snuggled into his chest, lightly gripping his shirt with his hands. Alex felt a small warmth emanating from his hand as John slowly intertwined his fingers with Alex's. He briefly glanced toward his hand before smiling slightly and interlocked their fingers. He then looked back at John, who was looking at him, slightly closer. His eyes now looking clear of their drunken daze. Alex didn't realize that John had edged closer to him as he was hypnotized by John's deep emerald eyes. John then flashed a glance towards Alex's lips and Alex looked at him slightly dazed and extremely exhausted but his mouth twitching upwards in a small smile. John then closed the inches they had between them and laid a soft kiss on Alex's lips. 

John's lips were soft and smooth, interlaced with the lingering smell of alcohol. The kiss was real, it wasn't pulled by the strings of alcohol, John knew what he was doing and he meant it, he _really_ did.

 

As quickly as the kiss had come, it had gone. Leaving Alex in a twister of emotions and feelings that he couldn't express. Alex's heart was pounding so hard he could hear it pounding in his ears like a drum. John then slowly pushed himself off of Alex and looked at him, his eyes once again clouded and dazed. John's face was unreadable, it was painted in different feelings that blended together. He looked partly happy, yet nervous and ashamed for what he'd done. Alex didn't know what to say back to him, so he tenderly grabbed John's hand and gave it a comforting squeeze to tell him that it was okay, nothing he did was wrong or disliked by Alex. 

John seemed to understand as he genuinely grinned at Alex, "You probably should head home, it's late," he said.

"Yeah.." Alex said, giving John's hand a final squeeze before getting off of the couch and heading for the door, "Good night John, I'll see you soon." 

_John Laurens just KISSED me.._ Alex thought as he silently walked home in the slightly cold weather. Alex closed his eyes for a moment and breathed in the cool night air, exhaling with a smile. He was pulled out of his blissful state by a hand tugging him backwards and a loud carhorn blaring at him. He whipped around to find a young woman with long curly brown hair and a maroon jacket fearfully looking over him. 

"Are you okay?" She asked him, her voice obviously concerned and fretful.

"Y-yeah I'm fine... Thanks, just a little tired." Alex replied bewilderedly.

She then let go of his arm and sighed a sigh of relief before smirking and responding, "I think a _little_ tired is an understatement sweetheart, you look like a wreck." 

Alex simply chuckled and started walking across the street with her at his side. "What's your name?" He asked as they crossed.

"Maria Reynolds, and you are?" She responded, the fear gone from her voice and replaced with a slightly cheerful tone.

"Alexander Hamilton, but you can just call me Alex I suppose." He said.

The pair continued to talk as they approached Alex's apartment, laughing and sharing things about one another. Alex soon learned that Maria had major issues going on back at her place, she didn't choose to go into detail but Alex could relate. He then offered for her to stay at his place for the night so she could get away. She gratefully responded with, "If you can afford for me to stay than that'd be wonderful! Oh, you're too kind!" He then showed her to his apartment and led her inside. 

"You keep this place very tidy, even though you're obviously a college student, I can hardly keep my _room_ clean, let alone an entire apartment!" Maria said, scanning his apartment's entryway.

"I guess, I had some friends over tonight so there may be a bit of trash on the floor in the living room," Alex replied, slightly embarrassed by her compliment. 

Maria then took off her jacket and flats and set them by the door so she could pick them up later when she left. "Nonetheless, this place is clean, and that's nice," she said as she followed Alex into the living room.

"You can take my bed for the night, I'll just sleep on the couch down here, if you need anything just ask. Oh! My room's the 1st room on the right down that hall," Alex said, beckoning to the hallway across the room. 

"Thanks Alex, once again, thank you for letting me stay, you're way too kind," Maria said as she made her way to Alex's room to get some sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't read the summary..
> 
>  
> 
> FINALS MURDERED MY SCHEDULE AND IM SO SORRY! Also I'm sick and wanted to get this out before it got much worse..
> 
>  
> 
> Happy days!
> 
> Ruby~


	9. Chapter 9: Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone makes mistakes, some more heartbreaking than others.

John woke with a start, the rays of morning light shining through his bedroom window. He sat up rather abruptly and instantly regret it. His head pounded painfully, the throbbing feeling like someone was hitting a large drum inside his skull. "Shouldn't' drank at all last night..." John mumbled to himself as he tiredly got out of bed to make some coffee to hopefully remedy the throbbing in his skull. John shuffled down the stairs, half playing attention and half lost in his thoughts, attempting to remember last night's events. He could clearly remember having a really great time at Alex's apartment with the gang, after that things were fuzzy. There was one thing though that stuck.

He had _kissed_ Alexander Hamilton.

John sat down at his kitchen counter on a stool and wracked his brain to make sure that was exactly what had happened and that he wasn't making it up. No, he 100% wasn't, the kiss happened. He remembered Alex setting him down on his couch, him crawling towards Alex and snuggling into him, and eventually, kissing him. _I don't even know if Alex **likes** me like that. I don't even know if he likes guys! Oh my god what have I **done!** _. His panicked thoughts were interrupted by a text notification on his phone.

 

 **Baguette** : Hey John

 **Baguette** : What's up?

John then shot a text back.

 **Turtleboi** : Not much Laf, just.. REGRETTING MY LIFE CHOICES

 **Baguette** : Mon ami! What did you do?

 

John froze at the question, wondering if he should lie or tell the truth or just flat out ignore the question. He didn't know. He wasn't sure how Laf would react to him kissing his best friend in a romantic way. He knew Laf was accepting of his sexuality but he was still worried about how he'd respond, which sounds stupid. _He's one of you're best friends! Why would he judge you for something like this!_ his thoughts screamed. _What if he does? What if he disapproves? What if he says Alex doesn't like him like that?"_ Laf was really close to Alex, so he was worried Laf wouldn't think he was right for him, which he would understand.

 

 **Baguette** : oh mon dieu... You did something _really_ bad didn't you John~

 **Turtleboi** : Oh my G O D Laf NO.. Nothing like that

 **Baguette** Then what mom amie!

 

John took a deep breath and typed the message, praying to every God in the history of the world that this would end well.

 

 **Turtleboi** : I _kissed_ someone Laf

 **Baguette** : oooooooh... And I think I know whoooo~~! 

 

John's heart practically stopped. _Did_ he know? If he did, what did he think? 

 

 **Baguette** Le petit lion~? 

 

John stared at his phone screen, petrified and nervous. He set his phone down on the counter and went to get a glass of orange juice from his fridge to hopefully calm himself down a bit or to at least make him forget about the oncoming questions and possible judgement he would relieve in the next 20 minutes. He gulped down his orange juice quickly, which meant his time had basically run out. Just then, a ding indicating a text rang throughout the small kitchen, making John freeze. He then picked up his phone and turned it over in his hand before looking at the message displayed on his lock screen:

 **Baguette** : I suppose I guessed correctly then! I _knew_ you liked him! I just didn't think you had the guts to _kiss_ him mon amie!

 **Turtleboi** : wait: _you knew!?_ ( >///^///<)

 **Baguette** : Mon cher.. I knew for a _long_ time

 

 

Alex was fast asleep on his desk that sat in his bedroom. His textbooks laying open as his head rested on the pages. He had been up the previous night, running on caffeine for around 24 hours before eventually crashing after having no sleep whatsoever in those hours at all. He was so exhausted, so tired, and he gave up. Maria was out with some friends that night, and told Alex she'd be gone for a while. He didn't mind so she left with a kind goodbye towards Alex.

 

It was around 3AM when Alex's apartment door was unlocked and Maria stepped over the threshold. Alex groggily opened his eyes to the sound of her heels hitting the wooden floor after she had apparently flung them off her feet. He could hear small giggles coming from the entryway, so he assumed she was probably wasted beyond belief. In response, he tiredly got up from his desk chair, mumbling incoherently as he did so. He pushed the chair out rather slowly, the sound of wood against wood bouncing off the walls of the room. He stood and rubbed his eyes in an attempt to wake himself up even a small bit more. He then tiredly shuffled out of his bedroom and walked down the hall to the small living room, where he found Maria sitting on the couch, her distant gaze locking onto Alex's tired one. She flashed a drunken smile his way and gestured for him to sit down. Maria was seated on one end of the couch, so he sat on the other, a good distance away from her.

 

"You don' wannnnna be close to me..?" Maria drunkenly whined.

"I'd rather not get into your personal space Maria," Alex responded bluntly, yawning after he spoke.

Maria then laughed as he yawned and scooted slightly closer to Alex, though he was too tired to notice nor care. 

 

"You neeeed to cut down on your studyinnnn Alex... Ish not good for ya.." Maria slurred, her eyes not even looking directly at Alex.

 

"If it-" He yawns suddenly, cutting himself off, "-help my grade at all I'll take it.

 

"But you never talk to meeeee when your studyinnnngg!" Maria whined impatiently.

She then began mumbling incoherent words, ever so slowly creeping closer to Alex. His eyes were drooping closed as sleep pulled them down. Maria made a pouty whine as he slowly drifted off to sleep. Alex let the exhaustion lull him to sleep, but as his eyes closed. He could feel movement nearby, but he didn't care, he was too tired. The smell of alcohol got stronger, but he didn't care. A warmth pressed against his chest, but he didn't care. The only time he did care was when he felt another pair of lips crash into his. His eyes suddenly snapped open and found Maria practically on top of him. She pulled back and sat up, nearly straddling his waist. Alex looked at her dumbfounded and met her gaze. However he didn't have long before the same lips crashed into his again, and this time, he kissed back.

 

Alex didn't know what happened,

 

Alex didn't know how it happened,

 

And Alex didn't know _why_ it happened.

 

He awoke suddenly the next morning, the blinding morning light shining through his bedroom window. He then tried to sit up, but felt a weight across his torso. In a panic, he looked over to his left and saw the sleeping form of none other than Maria Reynolds,

 

 _Shit,_ Alex thought.

 

Alex carefully unraveled himself from Msria's grip and grabbed his phone from his nightstand. He didn't recall bringing it with him, then again, he was so tired then.. He opened his phone to find 5 missed calls from Lafayette along with 2 texts from John.

 

_John._

 

Alex's heartbeat picked up about 100 fold, his breathing hitched, and he quickly walked out of the room and settled on his living room couch. He opened his phone and checked his texts first:

 

 **John** : I told Laf about the other night.. I'm so sorry...

 **John** : Please don't hate me ._.

 

He could never hate John. Sweet, innocent John Laurens, who Alex loved dearly. Alex loved John so much, he didn't deserve someone like him. He was always so kind and optimistic and funny. His sweet smile was enough to light up anyone's mood. His eyes were so deep you could get lost in them forever, but you don't want to escape. His freckles were like stars in a galaxy, and Alex loved to count them. His thoughts of John were crushed by his crumbling, aching heart. _How could I have done such a horrible thing... I can't even uphold a "relationship" properly!_ The thought then came to him, 

 

_How in the world would John react if he knew what I'd done?_

 

Alex knew he should come clean and tell John the truth. But he wanted to attempt to play it off as though he was drunk with Maria, or just erase Maria from his life forever, so as to blot out his mistakes. He decided on the 2nd decision, since he'd partially tell the truth, rather than just flat out lie. He then picked up his phone.

 **A. HamHam** : you're okay you're okay, I messed up too

He got a response almost immediately.

 **John** : You messed up? Did I do something wrong that upset you? Did you think you messed up with me? Because you did nothing wrong!

Alex's heart shattered at the text, John thought he was the problem, when in reality, it was Alex.

 **A. HamHam** : No John, it wasn't you... I did something.. really bad.. and I'm so sorry

 **A. HamHam** : You don't deserve someone like me, you could do so much better

 

Silence.

 

Silence

 

 

All he got was silence.

 

It took 20 minutes for John to finally respond.

 **John** : From what you said I think I understand what you did... with a girl yeah?

**A. HamHam** : We were both drunk, she asked to come back to my place and things escalated from there... John I'm so sorry 

**John** : Yeah I get it, you're okay Alex, it's not your fault. 

**A. HamHam** : Wait: You forgive me? 

**John** : Of course Ham, you're always my best friend, no matter what 

What Alex didn't know was that John didn't understand. He didn't understand why Alex would do such a thing to hurt him, even if he didn't mean to. John was sitting on his couch, where he and Alex first kissed. His phone was forgotten and left on the coffee table. John quietly cried to himself, letting the tears fall and land on the fabric of his pants. He sat, wondering what he could've done to show Alex he wanted a relationship, so that he knew how much this would hurt, how it _did_ hurt. 

****

He couldn't blame him though, because John, of course, hadn't said a thing. 


	10. Chapter 10: Shattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this seems jumbled or rushed, I missed a week due to writer's block but I managed to write a slightly longer chapter for you guys, hope you guys enjoy this! Also I might just update this randomly, so I may just throw the schedule out the window.. Sorry in advance

The following week after that Sunday morning was a nightmare.

 

The guilt of probably hurting John weighed on Alex, eating his heart inside out until there was nothing left but scraps, unable to keep him going. As soon as Maria woke up that morning, she went into the living room to find Alex, staring at his phone, crying, over something he'd let happen. He hated himself for it, more than he should. He felt as though he'd broken John, that he'd broken their friendship. Even though John could be completely fine and may have forgotten about already. He might even joke about it with Alex at school to make him laugh or maybe..

 

Maybe he won't.

 

Maybe he never will.

 

Because Alex _messed up._

 

He messed up so badly that he lied to preserve even a little sliver of hope that they'd remain friends. _Good_ ones, not just friends who consider one another a friend but hardly speak to the other or hardly know a thing about them or hardly remember their face-

 

-No, Alex would never forget a thing about John.

 

Alex could take the broken puzzle pieces of John and put them together exactly the way they were. He'd remember the jokes he told and even heard them in his voice when he thought of them. He remembered the warm touch of his tanned hands the first day they met. He remembered his beautiful emerald green eyes that Alex loved so much. He could feel John's hair when he thought about loving him, _caring_ for him. Just like he should've done instead of screwing. Everything. Up. 

 

Throughout the school week Alex felt progressively worse. John actively avoided him, always seeming defeated as he turned his head away from Alex before walking away. Leaving Alex hurt and alone in the crowded halls of the campus. He had no one to walk to class with, no one to practically murder Jefferson when the two got in an especially heated debate over something political or even something stupid. He missed his laugh and smile that he used to see. He missed his jokes and the feeling he gave Alex. He felt he could do anything with John, even kissing him again... If he could. He loved him, and he wanted him back. He wanted John to forgive him before he forgave himself, or he'd probably have no one to tell him that what he did was forgiven or would be buried and left behind. 

 

Besides John, his other friends (all except Aaron since he didn't know) didn't speak to him either, leaving him feeling unwanted and lost. Just like when he was 10, when his father left him and his mother when they were out of money, never to see him again. Just like when his mother died. Just like when the hurricane hit and took everything he knew away. Any time Alex wanted to hang out with them they always made an excuse:

 

**Herccc** : Sorry dude, can't, gotta study for midterms and all that, otherwise I'm gonna fail

 

Herc only studied on weekends.

 

**Laf** : Sorry mom ami, I'm going to a family dinner tonight

 

His family didn't live in New York.

 

And.. John?

 

John never answered, no matter how many times he tried.

 

Alex went home that Friday and studied to block out the guilt and loneliness that had built up that week. His friends _hated_ him! After Alex did such a horrible shitty thing, breaking John's and his own heart, he couldn't blame them at all. In fact, he respected it wholeheartedly. He hated himself too. He couldn't focus on the sentences he read, his vision blurry with tears threatening to spill from his eyes. He eventually gave up after reading a page on the 1780s for the 5th time, still unable to cram the information in his head. Alex slammed his textbook shut and collapsed on his bed. Maria had gone back home that Wednesday, which gave Alex no one to speak to, no one to let his mouth run until he was all out of words. He had no one. 

 

He cried for hours, letting the tears drip onto his pillow as he quietly sobbed to himself until 2am, when his tears ran out. He couldn't sleep though, not here, not in this bed, not in this room. Alex then threw off his covers and quietly stood up. His teeth were clenched to prevent even more choked sobs from escaping his mouth. He couldn't bide his time any longer. He couldn't let his guilt take over his life. He just couldn't. Alex slipped on his shoes, with no socks, grabbed his house key and his phone, and left his apartment with nothing else. 

Winter's cold bit at Alex's body, his shirt and pajama pants the only thing keeping him warm. His teeth chattered and his eyes stung. Alex was slightly thankful for the cold though, as it dried his tears before they escaped his tired eyes. The silence of night calmed Alex a bit, but forced him to keep his mouth shut, he didn't want to ruin the serenity of a clear night. After about 20 minutes of tiredly walking to his destination, he had arrived. As he stepped up the wooden patio stairs, he let the icy tears freely flow from his eyes like a river bursting through a dam. He, shivering, took out his phone and tightly held it in his hand before turning it on and opening "Contacts". He scrolled down his contacts list until he reached his name,

 

John's name. 

 

His finger hovered over the call button, his tears dropping onto the screen. He shut his eyes and hit "Call."

 

No answer

 

He tried again

 

Sent straight to voicemail

 

Alex bit his lip hard enough to almost make it bleed, but it went unnoticed in the numbing cold winter air. He turned off his phone and stared at the door. He pondered over whether he should leave and let John be, or if he should knock and hope for the best. After standing in the cold for so long, he couldn't stop the violent shivers coursing through his body and the tightness of his throat. He didn't know if he could stand out here much longer, let alone the 20 minutes it would take for him to get home. He had made up his mind, he would knock. He didn't care if John punched him or forced him out into the cold again, he just wanted to fix his mistakes, or, he would try.

 

_ _ _ _

 

John lay awake that Friday night. His dark room echoing his own heartbroken thoughts. He drowned out all noise as he lay on his back underneath his covers. He was cold as the nightly chilled air seeped through his bedroom window. He didn't care, he was in a daze of loss. He thought he heard a distant vibration, possibly a phone, but he didn't care about that either. In fact he hated the small sound, and proceeded to take his phone and shut it off completely, not bothering to read the Caller ID. He didn't want to talk with anyone. John decided to shut his eyes, trying to relieve himself with nice dreams that would fill his mind instead of the dark, empty ones that lingered in the daytime. 

 

His eyes snapped open at the sound of a knocking sound on presumably his door. He didn't know who would be here this late at night. John turned and looked at his clock 2:57AM. He disregarded the knocking, turning over to face his window, thinking the person wouldn't knock again. Yet, not only 3 minutes had passed when John heard the knocking once more. Slightly irritated, John pushed back his covers and slowly sat up, sleepily half-yelling, "Coming!..." as he shuffled away from the comfort of his bed. John approached the door and tiredly fiddled with his key until he heard the _click_ of the door unlocking. John opened the door and as he opened his mouth to speak, he closed it and stared at the man in front of him.

 

Alexander Hamilton was crying.

 

Alex looked disheveled, his normally sleek brown ponytail now loosely held back with many escaping strands dangling along his features. His brown eyes had lost their once familiar, fiery glow. Instead it was replaced with guilt and immense sorrow. In those same eyes tears welled and spilled down Alex's cheeks and fell to the wooden ground below him. Alex's gaze met John's and John thought he himself was about to break down, but he remembered why he had shut him out and cried about him, and that stopped the tears from flowing.

 

"J-John.." Alex said shakily. He was obviously cold, as he was shaking rather violently as he attempted to hold his teary gaze. 

John tightened his jaw and looked Alex square in the eyes before allowing tears to flow down his own freckled face.

 

"I- I thought you loved me ya know?" John choked out as he let his tears run freely. Alex's breathing seemed to stop for a moment before a sob escaped the student's mouth. He then put his hand to his mouth to supposedly quiet the sobs, but they continued.

Once Alex met his gaze again, John flashed a look of anger at the student before shoving him a little too hard, causing the boy to stumble backwards and land square on his back. He lay there, his hands on his face as more sobs escaped his mouth. John didn't know how much more of the crying he could take. He wanted to make him stop crying, he wanted to comfort and hold him close and whisper sweet nothings to him. He wanted to make him feel better. Instead, he pulled the door shut and turned around to walk back into his room and forget about this night.

However, John didn't hear the click of the door closing, instead he heard the movement of fabric against wood and a loud thud as the door slammed into something else. John whipped his head around to find Alex's foot in the door, in an attempt to catch his attention, most likely. 

"John.." Alex choked out, his sobs slightly subsiding.

John then heard shuffling and soon Alex had pulled the door back open. Alex stared John dead in the eye as he stood on his own two feet once more.

 

"I'm so sorry for.. for everything.. I- I wan-" Alex was then cut off by a sob forcing its way out of Alex's mouth. John's heart practically broke at seeing the man cry, but he wouldn't let a sob wash away everything Alex had done.

 

Alex then took a deep breath and continued, "I want to love you, I want to care for you, I want to hear your voice again, I don't want to live without you in my life. I don't know what I'd do if I'd never be able to see those freckles again." Alex half heartedly chuckled. "You don't have to forgive me- I'd understand if you don't- but the guilt is eating me from the inside out.. I can't live without you and Laf and Herc in my life any longer." Alex took a cautious step towards John, probably bracing for a punch or an angered retort as a response. John did nothing but listen.

 

"I love _you_ John Laurens, and no one else," Alex said, stopping his tears almost completely, "I hope that something I said would patch something up or at least.. fix.. some little part of our relationship.. I don't want to lose you too."

 

_I don't want to lose you too._ The words echoed through John's mind as Alex turned and walked away, a quiet "Goodnight," escaping his mouth as he stepped off the patio. The words only seemed to get louder as Alex walked farther away from him. The one sentence bringing on an immense amount of emotion and regret for all he's done to Alex over the past week, he had only made a mistake, not knowing how much it would hurt John. It was honestly quite ridiculous to let something like that ruin their relationship with one another. As Alex approached the sidewalk, the words became unbearable, nearly sending John into tears. He couldn't handle it anymore.

 

"Alex! Wait!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for you support thus far. This story will be ending soon (maybe around chapter 15). Once I finish this story I'm going to actually write a plot for my next fan fiction, I want to write something I'm proud of.


	11. Not the Easiest Thing to Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things are harder than others

_“Alex! Wait!” ___

__

__John’s words pierced Alex’s ears like a knife, cutting through his overwhelming guilt and panic. John’s voice was laced with guilt and sadness. Alex paused for a moment before taking a deep breath and clenching his fists to try and convince his feet to move. He couldn't seem to make his body cooperate no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't function, all he could do was cry, and that's exactly what he did. Alex let his tears tumble down his cheeks and hit the cold pavement below him. He still kept his hands in fists but they shook violently due to the cold partnered with his current state of disarray. Alex then could hear soft footsteps scraping the concrete behind him. Soon all the could hear was crying, but not only his own, but John’s too.  
Acting on his impulse, Alex turned around and practically leaped at John to hug him and to force his sadness away. He knew he couldn't, since Alex had caused it, but he would try. Alex gripped John’s shirt tightly in his hands, his phone and keys forgotten on the pavement behind him. His tears dripped onto John’s shoulder as he muttered incoherent apologies to John, who was holding Alex tightly to his chest and crying himself. John rested his head in the crook of Alex’s neck and Alex could feel his warm tears dripping onto his shirt and seeping through to his skin. The pair simply stood like that for a moment before John grabbed Alex softly by the shoulders and maneuvered him so he was standing in front of the freckled boy. Alex’s tears had slowed now, the worst had come and gone. Now was the time for recollection and, hopefully, forgiveness._ _

__

__“Alex..” John said, still obviously shaken and distraught. “This-“ he gestured to himself and Alex with his hand “-is going to take a while to be fixed completely.”_ _

__

__Alex didn't choose to interrupt, though he just wanted to spill all the things he could do to make John forgive him. Alex wanted to believe that he'd be able to love him, he now knew that's what he wanted. He wanted to love John Laurens with all he had._ _

__“I-“ Alex said before wiping his now reddened nose,”I know John, what I did was horrible and I should've considered you and your own fee-“ he was cut off by John shushing him._ _

__

__“Alexander, there's no need to apologize more than you already have, I should apologize too, ya know…” John replied with a halfhearted chuckle._ _

__Alex stood there for a moment dumbfounded, why did John need to apologize? Granted, he had avoided Alex that week and in turn, so did their friends, but Alex had caused that, he had hurt him. He didn't know it would've gotten to him that badly, but he should've considered him at the very least._ _

__“John, No-“_ _

__“-Alexander, let me apologize.” John said, more assertively, cutting the boy off. John tightly gripped Alex by his shoulders and said, “I'm so sorry, I-“ John took a deep, shaky breath. Alex thought he was going to cry then and there, but he kept going, “I didn't even consider that you were sorry for what you've done, that is, until you tried to apologize to me… but I didn't let you.”_ _

__

__“John..-“_ _

__

__“I was scared, Alex.. scared of what you'd say or what you'd do.. you might've put salt in the wound or bandaged it.. I didn't know.. so I was “cautious” and kept my distance from you and I'm so sorry.”_ _

__

__Alex opened his mouth to speak again, but John squeezed his shoulders as if saying, “No, I'm not done yet.”_ _

__

__“I ended up telling the others (Laf and Herc) that Monday.. they took it as an act of like, betrayal? Or something? So, as a form of revenge I guess, they started avoiding you too.” John, at this point, seemed to be on the brink of tears. “Whenever I hung out with them, I saw you texting them… and I saw them text back with a disgusted look in their eyes… I.. I took your other friends from you too..”_ _

__

__“I'm so sorry Alex.. I'm so sorry…” then he let the tears fall._ _

__John didn't _need_ to be sorry, but here he was, crying as his shaking hands held onto Alex’s shoulders like a lifeline. Alex stood there in John’s grip, taking in what all John had said. He felt sorry? He shouldn't, this was _his_ fault. Alex tenderly took John’s hands in his own and intertwined their fingers between them._ _

__

__“Can we start over? Like, a clean slate?” Alex said quietly, barely above a whisper, as he looked into John’s red, puffy eyes._ _

__“Y-yeah-“ John said, wiping his eyes, “I'd like that.”_ _

__He smiled._ _

__John’s eyes locked to Alex’s phone and keys on the pavement behind him and smiled before letting go of Alex’s shoulders and walking towards the street. Alex turned and began to walk towards his stuff, when he tripped on his, now untied, shoe laces. Alex closed his eyes and stuck out his hands to brace for impact, but instead, he felt a pair of warm hands grip his shoulders, holding him upright._ _

__

__“Woah, you alright?” John said with a joking smile._ _

__

__“Y-yeah.. I’m okay,” Alex said, with a small smile plastered onto his face, along with probably a small blush too._ _

__

__Gesturing to Alex’s phone and keys John said, “Uh here, lemme get that for you,” before lowering himself down to get his things off the ground. Alex then felt a stab of de javu, remember his first day in school was much like this encounter. John then handed his things to him, after Alex had retired his shoes, Alex took them and held then both tightly in one hand._ _

__“Mind if I walk you home?” John asked, a small excited smile present when he spoke._ _

__“Yeah of course! Lead the way.”_ _

__Just like that first day, John gripped Alex by his wrist and took off sprinting down the sidewalk laughing with Alex in his wake. Alex didn't care about the route they took, he just focused on John, He smiled at John’s excitement and slipped his hand into John’s, intertwining their fingers together and holding on tightly. Alex began to laugh with John, the cold weather temporarily forgotten and left behind with his guilt and sorrow. They ran for what felt like 5 minutes before they reached Alex’s apartment complex. John stopped suddenly after they climbed the stairs, causing Alex to nearly trip. They approached his door and John’s gaze met Alex’s._ _

__

__“Late night movie night to make up for all of this?” Alex said, almost cheerfully._ _

__John’s once tired face broke out into a gleeful expression as he said, “Yeah sure!”_ _

__Alex then opened the door and let John inside, but not before John pecked him on the cheek, making Alex realize that everything would be okay with time._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES YES I KNOW I KNOW, I changed the name of this work because I feel like this fit better.. so..
> 
>    
> (Sorry this chapter is somewhat short...)
> 
> ALSO! Tell me if you're satisfied with the story ending here, orrr would you want another chapter or two? I don't want this to drag out so it's not interesting, but I want to give it a satisfying end. LET ME KNOW IN LE COMMENTS


	12. Chapter 12: Half and Half

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One half is happy
> 
> The other, not so much
> 
>  
> 
> (This chapter was inspired by a comment by That_hamilfan, but I changed it up a bit ;) )

The pair settled down onto Alex’s couch, sharing a decent distance between them. Alex picked up the tv remote from the coffee table lying in front of the slightly old sofa. He flipped through multiple movies on Netflix before John stopped him, gently grabbing his hand and prying the remote from it. He then set it down on the empty table before meeting Alex’s eyes, “Don’t, just..” John said tiredly before finishing his sentence with a gesture for Alex to come closer. Alex simply nodded with a small smile before closing some of the distance between them. John then pushed himself forward and wrapped his arms around Alex, turning his back towards John, and pulled him to his chest gently in an attempt to explain to him that it was alright without using words.

Alex soon melted into the touch and pushed himself into a comfortable position on John’s chest, eventually losing the obvious slight tension in his body that was there a few minutes before. John simply ran his fingers soothingly through Alex’s hair, giving him an apparent sense of calm. His eyes were closed and his mouth was pulled up into a small smile. He looked at peace for the first time in a while. John did this for awhile, even after Alex had fallen asleep, he wanted to cherish this. Eventually though, the comfort shared between them lulled John to sleep as well, the comfort of sleep washing away any and all worries of what would come later.

 

John awoke to a sudden knock at Alex’s door. Alex immediately sat upright, catching John a bit by surprise. He turned to John and said, “I'll get it, you stay here,” worry and anxiousness evident on his features as he stood.

Picking up on his obvious distress, John stood too and gripped Alex’s hand comfortingly before walking in front of him saying, “No, you look all riled up, sit,” John said before giving Alex a quick peck on his nose and gesturing to the couch. Alex gave him a small but grateful smile before taking a seat on the couch as John left the room. John approached the door and turned the knob, opening the door. Apparently Alex had forgotten to lock the door when they arrived here earlier in the morning.

 

“Alexande-, John?” said a familiar French voice. He sounded oddly riled up and, judging by the now lessened fury in his eyes, he was expecting to find Alex at the door, not him. Herc was also with him, looking more annoyed than angry. Both of their expressions then turned to slight shock when they took in the sight before them. “Mom ami, we-“ Laf sighed, obviously hunting for words, “we did not expect for you to be here, we wanted to talk with Alex about some.. things.”

“Yeah man, we didn't really expect to see you here. I mean, we stopped by your house and you weren't there so-“ Herc said before getting quickly cut off by Lafayette, “-we thought something happened mon ami, you just, have not yourself so we thought something had happened,” ending his sentence with a slightly more hushed tone, obvious concern in his voice.

Pulling the pair inside, John said, “Why would you think I'd do something like that? I was just upset over.. everything,” John averted his eyes from Laf’s.

“Why are you even here John?” he heard Herc say quietly, yet anger and concern remained in his tone  
Not wanting to remember the entirety of last night, John explained very vaguely, “Alex showed up at my house late last night. He was in horrible shape, he was sobbing, his eyes were puffy, he was shaking- it was horrible. He spilled his heart out to me and kept beating himself up about how horrible he felt-“ 

 

“-John“ Laf said, apparent anger in his eyes, “he doesn't deserve someone like you.” 

As John was taking in the words his friend was telling him, Alex walked into the room and locked eyes with Herc, who slightly shoved Laf, knocking the taller student out of his angry stupor. John could see Laf’s expression flip from anger and concern to the normal excitable, cheery one John had grown to love, platonically of course, as he turned towards Alexander.

 

Evident anxiety and shock plastered along Alex’s face he said, “Oh, hey guys, what're you doing here?” His eyes flicked between the two before giving an uneasy look towards John.

A silence set over them for a moment before Laf stepped away from John, casting a nervous glance towards Herc before John said, “While you guys are here, let's just, make some pancakes,” in hopes of lightening the mood. Alex apparently took the hint and immediately turned and walked into the kitchen, take out the things he would need. John followed suit, helping Alex by already getting out a mixing bowl and a pan. After a moment, Laf and Herc joined them, taking a seat at the nearby table, the pair not saying much more than ineligible murmurings shared between them. John made multiple attempts and springing up conversation throughout the silence, but it never really went anywhere. One of them would end it suddenly, sending the group into silence again. As John turned to set things aside, he often caught Laf and Herc, mostly the former, casting dirty glances towards Alex, which only inquired John to flash a glare back at them. John had thought that they would both be upset until they made up, but apparently he thought wrong. He hadn't expected them to despise Alex so much to the point where they wouldn't even talk to him. 

After a few more minutes of silent cooking, except for when Alex would mumble something to John about where the plates were when he had been fruitlessly hunting through cabinets. Alex set the plates down in front of Laf and Herc, only to get a mumbled thank you sent his way, neither meeting his eyes. John could see his eyebrows crinkle in slight confusion. He looked at John worriedly and John flashed him a, hopefully, sympathetic smile. Alex then took the seat next to John. The pairs began talking amongst themselves, not speaking to the other. The only contact they shared was when one of the four would flash a look towards the pair opposite them. Eventually, the only sound that could be heard was the sound of forks hitting the plates as they finished their food. Alex quickly stood up as soon as everyone had finished, catching them all off guard. He simply looked at Laf and Herc, and, from what John could gather, he gave them a look of desperation, only for Laf to give him an unnerving look, while Herc simply averted his gaze. Alex then gingerly picked up their plates and carried them off to the sink. As he was washing them off, John locked eyes with Laf and flicked his gaze towards Alex’s room. Hoping to silently ask him to come with him. Lafayette nudged Herc and whispered something into his ear before he nodded and stood. The two of them walked silently to Alex’s room, opening the door and closing it behind them. John stood from the table and walked over to the sink where Alex was washing the syrup covered plates. 

Before John could get a single word out he heard Alex say quietly, “They hate me John, they really, really hate me.”

Caught a bit by surprise, John replied, “Alex, they don't hate you nearly as much as you think they do-“

“-John,” Alex interrupted, his voice slightly cracking as he spoke his name, “they have every damn right to hate me for everything I've done.”

John stood there silently for a moment, watching Alex place the wet plates down on the counter, before he turned him around and looked him in the eyes. He looked like he was about to cry right on the spot. He was biting his lip a little too hard and his eyes were shimmering. He was taking hard gulps of air and he was shaking ever so slightly. Before any tears fell, John pulled him into an embrace, he didn't want him to cry, not again. 

“I'm going to go talk to them, okay? I'll be right back,” John whispered into Alex’s hair, he only got a shaky “Okay,” as his response. Alex slowly let go of John, his arms falling back to his sides as John closed the distance between them and landed a gentle kiss onto his slightly chapped lips. As John pulled away, Alex gave him a thankful smile before giving his hand a gentle squeeze. 

As John turned away he heard, “I don't want them to hate me, I want my best friends back.”

“Everything is going to be okay Alexander, don't you worry,” John said as he left the kitchen. 

As John approached Alex’s bedroom door, a tiny fire of anger sparked up in his chest. He hated how badly Laf and Herc were treating Alex, even after everything, Alex had been forgiven by John, that should've been the end of that. The hatchet should've been buried, but they refused to let it go. John opened the door quietly and shut it behind him. He flicked his gaze between the pair.

 

“So, let's talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been at camp for the past 2 weeks and haven't had any technology to continue writing until Friday... I'm so sorry guys, there will NEVER be a gap as long as this ever again, I swear it.


	13. NOT A CHAPTER BUT READ PLEASE YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS STELLAR INFO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Read below, this is important to the further publishing of this story, and a few special words from me to you all.

So uh, school for me is started extremely soon, so my schedule will be changed. I wanted to let you guys know now so it doesn't come as much of a surprise when I don't update as much as usual. My apologies for not uploading as frequently as I'd like, believe me, I wish I could, I'm just a really bad creative writer, I can only generate storylines after thinking for hours on end. This is the reason why chapters are either late or shorter than usual, because I'm dwelling on ideas and not sure if I want to include them. Sorry that there isn't an update this week, I just got back from vacation and heading out again tomorrow for a week with some friends as a final vacation before school starts again. I may be able to get some writing done, but not enough to make another chapter by next Sunday. I love writing this story, and I want it to end leaving the readers (you guys) satisfied with the ending I propose. 

 

Side note: I really have loved posting my work here, I really love to write and tell stories, I always have, so seeing all of your positive feedback on my first work here makes me really happy and gives me that extra boost I need right now, my mental state isn't the best currently, but with help from you all and of course, the help I needed, I'm pushing through. So I'd like to thank you all for the things you've done for me. Thank you all, I love and appreciate all of you.

 

OKAY!! This is the part you HAVE to read!

 

The current schedule will be changed to one chapter every other week, on a random day, most likely weekends. The chapters will remain the same length and be possibly longer if I have a sudden burst of ideas.

 

KTHANKSBYEEEEEE


	14. Chapter 13: Quarrels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (Sorry for missing a week.. you also might get mad at me for not writing this in John's perspective... I'LL RECOUNT THE IMPORTANT PART NEXT CHAPTER FOR CONTEXT REASONS)

Alex stared worriedly at his bedroom door as John opened the door and stepped inside. A moment or two passed when he heard the faintest click of the door being locked, presumably, by John. He felt the strong urge to go and listen in through the door, ready to help John if things became too heated. Instead though, he simply wiped the last few tears from his cheeks and sat down on his worn sofa, ignoring the still dirty plates he still had to wash. His thoughts began to drift, and Alex soon wondered if he had never come into the trio’s lives, they wouldn't be broken into two sides. They were happy without him. He just had to come along and ruin it, didn't he? 

He let his thoughts set in, gnawing at his heart and tightening his teeth together as he sat there shaking and nearly crying in the spot that had made him so happy the night before. He didn't even stop the tears this time, he just let them run down his face, feeling them drip onto his thin pajama pants, leaving evident marks of his crying on his clothing that John would definitely ask him about later if they didn't dry soon. He wiped his tears with his hand to dry his now wet face after a few minutes. He then stood up and walked back to the kitchen, sniffling. He picked up one of the remaining dirty plates to wash when he heard the sound of a door opening. He quickly turned his head, hoping it would be John exiting that room. He was caught off guard to see Lafayette staring at him with a face that practically radiated anger. He then spared a glance behind Laf to see Herc and John worriedly coming up behind him and John then carefully setting a hand on his shoulder and mumbling quiet, incoherent words to him that Alex couldn't hear nor understand. Alex could see Laf bite the inside of his cheek before quickly facing John and saying something to him before forcing John’s hand off of his shoulder, causing Herc to quickly walk in front of Laf and grip him by the shoulders. John then slipped past the two and briskly walked over to him and mumbling the words, “Turn around, don't look at him.” As instructed, Alex turned and once again picked up a dirty plate to wash as he turned on the sink. As he nervously washed the dirty plate, he could hear footsteps being heard behind him. He could hear a bit of mumbling before hearing a door open and close. Then everything fell into silence, all noise was gone except for the running of the water from the sink. 

Alex’s heart was pounding loudly in his chest. What _happened_ in there? What could've caused Laf to become so riled up so easily? What did John say? What di-

His thoughts were interrupted by John quietly saying, “Alex?” Alex set down the last plate that he had just finished cleaning before turning to find John a couple of feet away from him. His face showed defeat. Judging by his expression and what had just happened, things didn't go very well. 

“John,” Alex said, “what.. _happened_ while you guys were talking?”

John sighed and looked down at the floor for a moment before meeting Alex’s eyes again. “I explained everything about what happened last night, in detail, and then I talked about what would happen now between us. Laf was pissed as soon as I said how upset you were, he basically lashed out at you by telling me some shit about how much you don't deserve someone like me and how much of a-“ John gulped heavily before quietly finishing, “-a bastard you are.” 

Alex just sighed and encouraged John to keep going by gently squeezing John’s hand in his own. 

“Herc didn't even try to stop him, he just.. he just _let_ him say all that shit about you!” John continued, his voice cracking slightly as he spoke. “Herc simply just stared at me, he gave me this look like, ‘I get it, but I don't want to ruin our already shitty relationship further by shutting him up,’ or something like that,” John sighed and chuckled sadly before taking Alex’s other hand and saying, “Herc means no harm, I think he's okay now, it's just Laf and his over dramatic personality we need to worry about now.” John gave Alex a weak smile before Alex gently placed his hand on John’s cheek and moving slightly closer. John then carefully placed his hand on the side of Alex’s face and letting his hand slowly slide down Alex’s face before stopping at his neck where Alex intertwined his own hand with John’s. Alex gave John a comforting smile and slowly pushed himself forward. John did too and the space between them was soon filled as their lips gently met in a kiss. 

The kiss wasn't ravenous or longing in any way, it was just peaceful and comforting, something both students needed right now. They stayed there for a few moments, sharing a few kisses before the two parted. They stayed close, John pulling Alex into a warm embrace. Alex set his head in the crook of John’s neck and whispered, “I love you John.”

John replied with, “I love you too, Alexander.” 

Alex simply smiled and melted into John’s embrace, taking in his warmth. Alex let his eyes close as John let go and kissed him again. John made all his worries go away, and now was no different. His world only revolved around him and John. Alex moved back as the two parted and said, “You said something about what would happen between us now, what did you mean by that?” 

John gave Alex a warm smile before saying, “I wanted to be with you, as your boyfriend, I wanted us to move forward. I thought being officially together would help us move on.”

“John,” Alex began, “of course I'll be your boyfriend, I honestly didn't know what we were before,” Alex finished with a small chuckle.

John smiled, a huff of laughter escaping his mouth as well before saying, “Go and get dressed, I'm taking you out today.” 

Alex nodded and said, walking out of the kitchen“I'll grab you some clothes too, since my clothes should fit you too, be back in a sec.” 

“Oh, and Alex?” John started, “don't think for a second you don't deserve me or something like that, I love you and no one else, okay?”

Alex paused and looked at John and said, “I love you too, and don't say that, we deserve each other, no matter how many times people say we don't.” John watched him enter his room and shut the door, a new fire of hope burning in his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah uh, Laf is being a dick... that's established. 
> 
>  
> 
> But don't worry!! The story will end well for all of them! It might take a while to pan out, so.. y e p
> 
> Also, THANK YOU for all of your support, I'm definitely not the best writer. I definitely need to work on my pacing and the smoothness of my transitions and such, but I think I'm improving?? See you in two weeks!
> 
> (Also sorry this was so short)

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments really help me with determining whether or not you like the story or not.. 
> 
> I usually write for fun so this is basically just the product of my mind delving deeper into the fandom known as Hamilton, don't judge too hard (._.)
> 
> SCHEDULE MAY BE CHANGED:
> 
> Updates every other week


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